MNA: The Price Of Blood

I’ve been feeling more and more like a failure with each passing day. I look at all the bills I gotta pay and then look at my income and see it is hardly enough. The older people would go tell me to change that. As I see it, I have 2 real ways to change it and one of them is not ideal.
The other way is to get lucky. Getting hired isn’t really all about skill anymore. Sure, tech jobs won’t hire some moron who is just friends with HR, but it sure helps.
My problem is I am too stupid to actually learn anything new. “Oh now that’s not true, Chas” you may be saying but it is true. You want to know how I got through school? It was a combination of being crafty and knowing where to be. I took the easy classes because it would get me the same results as the hard classes. I took classes where the teacher was leanant or I could manipulate my grade. I took the same teacher over and over again to build upon a reputation I had with them so I could do things my own way and score higher because they knew how I’d work. It wasn’t hard work in my studies. I don’t think I read 90% of the books assigned to me. It was all eavesdropping on class that made me understand the books. 
So yeah, I learned how to fix things in my favor. That’s why I never took the maths or sciences class because there wasn’t room for manipulation. Answers to tests were exact. There’s no room to mess with it. 1 plus 1 will always be 2. I can’t make a compelling argument that it makes 2146. No. That’s why I did well in liberal arts.
Unfortunately, that sort of skill isn’t needed today. It is in some circumstances, but that’s for people who are already established. I’m like a rock trying to sprout wings and fly. It isn’t happening. 
My complaint about second job is that I’m too old for that nonsense. I am. I’m the oldest one working there and the only one who isn’t attending college. The whole atmosphere is too immature. They focus on petty things like SnapChat and dating. I’m out of that loop and I never want to return to it.
I want to go, but I can’t. I have no replacement job. I hate working 2 jobs. I hate it so much. I want one Monday to Friday job that pays enough that I don’t worry so hard about everything. That’s all I ask. I don’t want a house. I don’t want a new car. I don’t want to visit California. I don’t want children. I just want to go home and not worry about things and play Payday for another 1000 hours. I want to write my drink posts. That’s all. 
Pipe dream. It is all a pipe dream.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s