She’s a Brick and I’m drowning slowly, Rad Blog.
This is an old prompt, but who cares because I’m going to write about it anyway.
I guess these “one word reactions” are okay because no one can blame me if I go off on a tangent about nothing. That’s what most of the responses did anyway, well, not so much “nothing” but more like “this doesn’t really answer the question the prompt asked.” Pardon me, I was a lit. major and answering prompts was part of my life for, well, most of my life.
Anyway, the prompt is called “Brick” and all I could think of was Ben Folds.
In all seriousness, I could write about how I got into Ben Folds which isn’t that interesting of a story. Basically, I was on a plane to Kansas, well the connecting plane, and the flight was super turbulent. Luckily, the plane was super high-tech and had theses tablet things in the seats and they let me listen to music. All of the music was bloody rubbish like Keith Urban or Justin Bieber, but there was Ben Folds in the mix. Motion City Soundtrack was super influenced by him so I figured I’d give Ben Folds a try since I love Motion City Soundtrack. Ben Folds Five is pretty good. I liked it and it helped me get past the terrible turbulence. “Brick” was one of the songs they had.
That was a boring story! Let me relate bricks to my real life now for a slightly more interesting one!
Where I lived, there’s a park that had this old brick factory near it so the two get associated together a lot. Anyway, the brick factory is long gone, but the park is fairly popular still. Growing up, my friends and I went to this park a lot to play baseball, football, American Football, you name it. Sports. IT was what we did. We all lived fairly close to the park so we’d meet up at my house and then head to the park from there. After a day out playing, we’d head back and play video games at one of our houses. It was good fun.
Then high school came and two of the four went somewhere else for school. Me and one friend went to the same school, but we ended up making friends with different people. He was smart and a sports enthusiast so he made friends with people of that likeness. I was into pop punk and scene stuff so I ended up hanging with those kids. The two other friends were busy with their new friends and lives too. Still, we ended up going to the park and playing video games on the weekends. It wasn’t as often as it was in grade school, but I was still happy to hang out with my buds.
Then college hit and we got separated further. One friend started school in Jersey, but further away from our hometown. The other two went out of state. Me, I stayed at the local college. I would go whole semesters without seeing them or hearing from them, but it was okay. Summer came and we’d head back out to the park and then come home and play video games.
Those years were short lived. One of the friends got an internship at the school so he never came back to Jersey. The other friend fell off the face of the earth and never came back home because an internship too or something. I don’t know. The other friend, who was originally going to school in Jersey, had to move and transferred to a school out of state. I was all alone. No more sports at the park and video games later.
This is where I currently stand. I returned to Booker in hopes of seeing them again. One of the friends came back to visit. I was very happy to see him again and hang with him for a week. The other two, well, one talks to me on occasion on Booker. The other friend is where this story gets to its “resolution” point.
His parents are moving and last weekend I visited their yard sale to sell off all the stuff they didn’t want to take with them. I actually bought a bunch of stuff too. I got the old book case we used to shoot Nerf guns at and I even picked up some of his old video games. Most importantly, I got the data off the old video games, because I already owned them. It was more of the saved data that was important to me.
Then I saw the baseball stuff we used to lug with us every weekend. I remembered the first time we used the wooden bat and how heavy it was because it was his brother’s bat. Then the bat became lighter to us as we grew older. I saw the gloves we lost a million times so we bough new ones. I saw the baseballs we would find in the woods after accidentally hitting them out of the little park. Sometimes we’d end up with more balls than we brought since we’d find other people’s baseballs who didn’t bother looking for them in the woods.
It then occurred to me that I’m the brick. I was always here. If they returned, I was the one that they could still see since I don’t move. Like the old bricks from the brick factory, I’ll forever be in this area. I have no desire to leave here. It is my home. I’m not adventurous. Sure, I like to visit places, but I would never want to up and leave. That’s not me. That’s not who I’ll ever be.
So, maybe the memories fall off or erode, but bricks are pretty sturdy. They get buried under the dirt and heck, most people forget about the brick factory today. These new school millennial parents with 3.5 kids sure do. The important thing is that I don’t. I won’t forget. Like a brick, I’ll be supporting them until the end of time. Maybe that makes me sentimental. I guess. I don’t really like calling myself that. It is just my nature really. I like these memories because they are good. I don’t let it hold me back and cripple my development.
Some people would call this nostalgia. I call it history. It is history because it isn’t dead to me. Nostalgia refers to something that is gone and people who want to feel nostalgic attempt to relive the memories, but then go about their day. I keep these memories alive forever. I might not use all of them, but I have them. The saved data will be cherished by me now that I possess it. The baseball stuff, well I have my own. They were his baseball stuff so I’m not really bothered by not buying it. The bookcase is just important because I need a bookcase and it is a bonus that it so happens to be one that I remember from when I was a kid.
Maybe I am more like “stuck in the past.” That might be a better way to describe me, but I’m not entirely Gatsbying myself. I’ve accepted that going to the park and playing video games will never happen again. I’ve accepted that I’ll probably never see my friends again. It is just how it is. If I do see them, I’ll be very happy. If they decide to visit, they know where I am because nothing changes for me. That’s what I mean by being the brick. I’m established. I keep the memories because that’s what I do. I don’t need to move because my purpose is to keep a structure. I’m fine with that. I’m happy to be that.
I remember in high school and when talking about graduation, kids were always saying things like “When I graduate, I’m moving to California! I’m moving as far away from here as possible.” They do that, but then they move back because they miss life here or it was too hard there, or both. I’ve never had the desire to do that. I have always been “I’ll go where and when I’m needed.” I’m needed here so I stay here.
That’s really it. A lot of WordPress users are more adventurous than I will ever be, but that’s fine. When adventurers are done, they go home. What are homes made of sometimes? Bricks.