I wanna talk about something that’s been bothering me lately.
So, you probably saw my Dragon’s Dogma post, which is right before this one if you haven’t. I hope you liked it because I’m not doing it anymore for that game. I’m sending it back.
What was wrong with it? I mean, if you read this post it shows I had sorta fun. I did. It was okay, but Day 2 just didn’t go well.
The game constantly frustrated me with its odd checkpoints and other stuff I just don’t wanna deal with while playing. I could go into it, but I’m not trying to review it or anything. Let’s just say I’m mad at the game and further playing it would not be fun at all so what’s the point in keeping it? I am getting a full refund.
This has been a trend lately when playing. I got The Phantom Pain for Christmas from Gildem. It is a cool game, but I’ve gotten frustrated with it because I’m doing stupid stuff. I’m not done with that game, but my activity with it will be random.
Today, I finally finished Pokemon X and now I am filled with a deep sense of sadness.
This game was really cool. I was engaged with the new generation and the story and the Pokemon. I wanted a cool team and I finally got it.
Then I fought the Team Flare and just stopped because I lost all motivation. There was a lot of filler battles. I thought “what’s the point?”
Continuing on, I dreaded each battle and each wild Pokemon. I went out of my way to avoid trainers. I didn’t wanna read anything anyone had to say. I ran though it and I finally got though the final battles. I didn’t enjoy the scenery. I didn’t feel accomplished. I felt faded.
Inside me, I know I would have thought this was cool. I would have been happy with the parade thrown in my honour since I won. I woulda been happy to see the end game. Instead, I just don’t care.
I threw my game across the room in frustration. The inner Chas missed the experience and he knew outer Chas would come to realize it sooner or later.
Then I look at all my games. Why do I even play them? Why do I even bother? I suck at them all. I only wanna play like 5 games these days and they are just mindless placebos to pass the time. I am not having fun in them mostly. I do it because if I didn’t I’d explode with boredom or the troubles of daily life would get to me.
This is why I won’t consider myself a gamer because I actually hate video games. I hate them so much, but I need them to like stay sane. Maybe that sounds like I’m addicted, but I’m not. I have other ways to pass the time and entertain myself. It has just become a part of me. It is something I know. People know Chas Rad as a guy that plays games. They know me as someone that knows about old games and new games. It is something that’s part of me.
I think I hate them because I probably hate myself just as much. I’ve been putting up with myself because I don’t know what else to do. I wish I was energized.
I’m sorry, inner Chas. You would have loved the ending of Pokemon X. It would have been satisfying, but I’m not in it anymore. I just wanna do nothing.
I’ve been posting on a games forum a lot lately and I see how into games these people are and realize how much I am not into it. I’m just going though the motions because it is all I know. I’ve grown to hate a few members and that was not my intention of going back. I wanted to make friends. I think I’ll have to write more about that on my blog there.
I don’t know, Rad Blog. This really sucks. Why can’t I just tolerate these games and just get going and pretend that I really like them. Is it a lack of empathy that I don’t care about renowned games? Is it a lack of interest? Is it both? Maybe I just don’t get it. Maybe I’m dumb and couldn’t understand a good story if it hit me in the face and broke my hand again for the third time.
At this point, it is lost to me. I think there’s no point in me trying to comprehend this because I’m lost to this generation of gamers and heck, even last’s.
I’m handling this slightly better. Usually I end up deleting friends off social media and close accounts, but I haven’t.
I think I just need to space myself from new games and just play the five I play. I think I also need to denounce someone who is like a smog. He doesn’t do much, but his presence just makes me miserable.
That’s it. Hopefully I will have something else to write about soon enough. I haven’t found anything unique to have drink. If I was out west again, then there’s a bunch of choices. Not so much here. Oh well.